In which I relate my travels to Saint Louis.

I got started on the morning of the 14th. (Yes, anything before noon is technically morning.) I picked up Saryn in Point and we were off. We got a little south of Madison when we saw a silo with a gigantic pumpkin on top of it. Saryn was bouncing with excitement and wanted to go on an expedition to find it. I was more of an advocate pressing onward to make up for a later start than I had intended. I ended up giving in. We turned around at the next exit and headed back towards the silo. We passed it again and went about 6 miles to the next exit. After trying to find a way down to the silo from up there, we eventually gave up and got back on the freeway. I pulled off at a wayside and we got a few pictures of the silo. The expedition ended up not being quite what Saryn had hoped for but daylight was already fading and we were still in Wisconsin.

We continued south on interstates 39 and 94. I knew that they split off somewhere in Illinois but I wasn’t sure exactly where. I figured I’d just watch the signs. Saryn and I were actively chit-chatting. I kept an eye on the road signs looking for the turnoff and eventually something strange happened. There were a lot of signs for O’Hare airport. Well, that couldn’t be right; O’Hare was way over in Chicago and I wasn’t going anywhere near Chicago. Then I saw the gigantic blue Ikea building. I told Saryn in a sinking tone, “Look, it’s Ikea.”

“Ikea? Ooooo! Cool! So that’s what it looks like. We really need to go sometime!”

“No, Saryn. It’s not really cool. &#^@!!! *#^@ing &#^$ity &@%$ *@!%^!!!”

(You see, the only Ikea near Chicago is pretty much in Chicago. The fact that it was looming large through the windshield meant that something had gone horribly, terribly wrong.)

Luckily, Ikea is right by my brother’s house. I called his cell and said, “Hey, Matt. So… If you were going to go from your house to Saint Louis, how would you get there?”

He started to give me directions. I turned the car around and started to follow them. Then he asked me, “So, why do you need these directions?”

“Well, you know how I told you I was headed to Saint Louis this weekend?”

“Yeah. Okay. Wait… If you are going from Wausau to Saint Louis, why the hell are you in Chicago?”

“Shaddup and just gimme the damn directions!”

Matt helped me quickly get back on track. The only remaining problem is that I was now in Chicago at 5 pm on a Friday evening. The traffic slowed to a near standstill for a good half hour. But eventually we were headed into the wastelands of Illinois at a decent speed.

Just to give you an idea, here’s a little map of our detour. The green line is how I would recommend traveling between Wausau and Saint Louis. The red line is how we actually did it…

I figure that it cost us about two or two and a half hours of additional travel time (not to mention over $10 in Chicagoland tolls). It could have been worse, I suppose.

The rest of the drive was fairly boring. Saryn told me that Saint Louis looked beautiful as we crossed the Mississippi but unfortunately I was a little distracted by having to drive in a new city. We found the hotel without much trouble. We even made it there before Endo and Joyce (with whom we were sharing a room)!

The meeting room was filled with friends, people I had never met, games, and good times. Joyce and Endo eventually showed up. At about 1am, Saryn, Endo, and I decided we were hungry. We got directions to a retro diner and headed out. On the way there we passed a Del Taco. I’ve wanted to eat at one ever since Karen told me about them. (Beats me why. Maybe it’s because I can’t pass up any place with “Taco” in the name; Taco Bell, Taco John’s, Taco City, etc.) We didn’t stop and I never did make it back before we left. Oh well. The diner was fun. Unfortunately the food didn’t live up to the atmosphere, but what can you expect at 2am?

The next day was the grand trip to the City Museum. It certainly isn’t anything like any museum that I’ve been in before. It’s really a gigantic playground for kids and adults. It fuses elements of historic architecture of Saint Louis with a wonderful sense of fun and functionality. Randy gave a quick tour to those of us who hadn’t been there before, then we were let loose on the place. There were constant surprises. Three-story slides, narrow tunnels under the floor, wonderful food, pinball arcade, “skateless” park, a huge aquarium, and more. Eventually the place took its toll. I got away with mere exhaustion but Saryn had a mild ankle sprain.

In the evening we had the presentation of the InstantCool CMEF ’05 awards. (InstantCool is an online “discussion system” for the gang and CMEF is the “City Museum Extravaganza Fest”.) I managed to win “Newest member attending” and Saryn and I shared “Longest distance driven”. After that there were more games as well as a public screening of The Incredibles and Cutie Honey Live Action. The night eventually wound down and we wandered off to bed.

I am told that Endo and I had some kind of unknowing competition as to how much we could snore. I am happy to say that I hear Endo won.

Sunday morning I partook of the lovely breakfast at the hotel. Mmm, eggs, sausage, Lucky Charms, waffles, milk, juice… Endo wanted a hand replacing his top radiator hose and thermostat so I stood out in the cold parking ramp and lent a hand where I could. Afterwards, everyone got together in the meeting room to swap media and say goodbye. Randy and Gretchen took a group of us to Blueberry Hill, a famous Saint Louis landmark. I hear that Chuck Berry plays there at least once a month and that all kinds of celebs hang out there. Oddly enough there weren’t any on that Sunday afternoon. They make a good burger though.

Endo took off on the long ride back north and Joyce, Saryn, and myself walked over to see Randy and Gretchen’s place. (They live only a few blocks from Blueberry Hill. It’s a great neighborhood.) We ducked out quickly since they seemed beat.

We headed up to the north side to visit Jeff and Brian’s place. They have a nice house in a rather suburban area. Jeff was a gracious host and the evening consisted of a relaxing night of Bond flicks, Thai food, Carcassonne, and Pirates of the Spanish Main. Jeff had to work in the morning but he let us take our time getting ready as long as we locked up behind us.

Our first stop on Monday was Calvary Cemetery. Karen had asked if I could try and find some gravestones for some of her family members. She had hit a dead-end in her research and was hoping that the cemetery would hold some clues. Sad to say, we struck out in Calvary. It is an amazingly huge (and beautiful) cemetery and snow was covering most of the stones. The only map information I had didn’t narrow things down much. We spent an hour or so looking but to no avail.

We poked into a Walgreens for supplies and I was surprised to find a section devoted to Bosnian foods. Every Walgreens I have ever been in looks pretty much exactly like every other one, so a little individuality was refreshing, especially when it consisted of tins of odd food with no English on the labels.

We had more luck at the Saints Peter & Paul Cemetery. The map was better and Joyce managed to spot the stone after a short search. We cleared off some snow, called Karen, and related our findings. It gave her a little info, but nothing too useful.

Then we did the touristy thing and visited the Gateway Arch. If you go, I highly recommend seeing their documentary movie, “Monument to the Dream“. It was made in the 60s and it is worth it just for the kitsch factor. And it’s brought to you by Steel?, official metal of the Gateway Arch! But despite all of the touristy aspects, the main event is still pretty impressive. You are pretty damn high up at the top of the arch. I managed it, although I got a touch queasy near the end.

We grabbed a final Saint Louis meal at the Route 66 Brewery & Restaurant in Union Station. It was great food and possibly the best waitress that I have ever had. She knew what we wanted before we knew we wanted it and she was fun to chat with. When she heard we were from Wisconsin, she asked us if we knew of an Embarrass, WI. Well, sure, my mom lives about 5 miles away from it. She said that she had heard on the news that it had recorded the lowest temperature in the continental US. That sounded pretty odd to me. Later I called my mom and found out that the waitress was confused. Embarrass, MN actually set that record.

And then we drove back. Long, boring drive in the dark with nothing really to tell. It’s nice to travel but it’s nicer to get home.